Toll free for dumb americans

Quiero empezar una recopilación de anécdotas del laburo porque hay muchas dignas de recordar. Acá van algunas:

- I can't see any numbers displayed on my screen!
(yo matándome tratando de pensar cual podría ser el problema, mil tests y finalmente...)
- Sir, you should remove the sticker from the screen. Can you see the numbers now?

- Honey... that number you're writing down is my home phone... gimme a call tonight.
- Are you from the Netherlands?
- My phone's not working (le explico que lo tiene que dejar prendido para que ande)But should it be on all day long??? ... yes, ma'am, otherwise you won't be able to use it...
- Thank you for calling Tracfone Wireless, my name is (Helena), how may I assist you today? - Hello, (Helena), I would like to buy a mattress. (???)

Enough for today!